Delusions of Grandeur

Shorter Sports Guy: If only more people were as good as me, they'd watch The Wire, and then society's problems would be solved. [The bad grammar is intentional. See, the thing about SG is that's probably how he would have written that sentence. Other than that there's no way he could write it in less than 1000 words.]
Stick to writing about sports and sports-related topics. Larry Bird didn't enter dunk contests. David Ortiz doesn't play in the field except when needed. I don't review female hygiene products. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and, SG, we know what yours are.