Blame the victim? Moi?

I am sympathetic to many gay rights issues. For example, I think the state should treat gay and straight marriages equally. Many people think that gay people pushing their issues, particularly in ways that circumvent our established democratic procedures, caused a backlash and may have cost Democrats the election. While I think that's probably not what cost Kerry, it probably did hurt other Dems in their own elections. Am I blaming the victim? I don't think so. Yelling at people that they're wrong generally won't get good results. Even if they realize deep down that you're right, instead of admitting their error and moving on, most people will get their backs up, and I can't say I blame them (I know I can be guilty of both sides of this dynamic, and feel free to call me on it when applicable). There are a lot of people who are squimish about gay marriage, but also don't hate gay people. By all means try to convince them that you are right, but please do it without the condescension or by forcing the issue. Demographics are on your side, reason is on your side, compassion is on your side, don't put morality partly on theirs with bad tactics.